Can You Really Tell if Somebody is Lying By Observing Them?
With the study of body language, it’s important that you must study the “whole package” of an event or situation. To pick out one or two gestures and be convinced that the person is lying based on those is irresponsible. It takes a knowledge of that person, and their personal habits, expressions, and a history of interaction with them to be able to clearly point out what behaviors are odd and out of place, and which are normal for them.
With that in mind here are a number of “tells” that some people display when lying:
1. If you’re talking to someone about commitment, and they’re not interested in taking the relationship to the “next level,” but don’t want to tell you, or are lying to you, their eyes may dart around the room, mentally seeking escape!
2. If they’re usually not “touchy feely” and they keep touching your forearms while trying to convince you of something, it could be a lie.
3. Some folks may avoid direct eye contact, yet this is something that some people do normally, as it’s uncomfortable for them.
4. Their hands may go to behind their ears, or scratch around their necks. Sometimes they will touch their face repeatedly.
5. Facial expressions may not match words, or the timing is off. As if they have to think for a split second what emotion they should display.
6. Their expressions may be limited to around the mouth, instead of involving the eyes, eyebrows, and forehead.
7. They may be uncomfortable speaking facing front to front, and turn off at an angle.
8. If they’re usually not as chatty, and fill the silences with chatter, or give an abundance of facts and details in an unusual manner.
9. Sometimes you’ll find them shifting topics quickly, trying to distract you. A test you can sometimes use is to watch their body language—if you suddenly drop that line of conversation and move to another topic, are they physically relieved? Relaxed now?
10. Where they stand can tell you how comfortable they are with the topic.
11. They can use humor or sarcasm to deflect you.
12. Many of you have heard that “the eyes shifting to the left show a liar,” but according to Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the book Frogs Into Princes, it depends on many things, including if they’re right or left handed, so be careful. These are what they use as “general” guidelines. Looking up to the left, for most right-handed people, means that they are “visually constructing” the scene (making it up). And for that same person, eyes directly to the right would suggest “visually remembering images”!
So if you have your doubts, maybe this will help you to sort it out for yourself; however, there are no ways to prove a lie like on TV and the movies except (to some degree) the lie detector, and even that can be fooled sometimes!
